


4. Feel Like I Know Nothin’ (Make Your Mark Now)

by Corbeau7



Series: You’re the Reason (Better Since You Came Along). [4]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 10:26:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16084223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corbeau7/pseuds/Corbeau7
Summary: Just a thought I had after Vanessa told Charity that the ketamine was missing.





	4. Feel Like I Know Nothin’ (Make Your Mark Now)

Title: 4. Feel Like I Know Nothin’ (Make Your Mark Now)

Charity: “I am your girlfriend, you actually think I’d be capable of that?”  
\- March 13, 2018.

*****

It had hurt. More than she cared to admit. On the other hand, she knew Vanessa wasn’t actually accusing her. No, she couldn’t. She had shown Charity already that she wasn’t like anyone else.

It was just the stress. Yes. The stress of what would happen if the vile of ketamine failed to show up. She told Vanessa she would get over it, and she was. Almost.

“I’m so sorry,” Vanessa had shown up later that night, her face wet. She’d clearly been crying.

“It’s alright,” Charity waved it off.

“No, it’s not. I never thought you’d take it, Charity. Honestly.”

Charity pulled her into the kitchen, so she could pour them both a wine.

“I need you to know, Charity. I wasn’t blaming you. I know it wasn’t you.”

Charity pulled a few tissues out of the box and handed it to her very upset girlfriend.

“Ness? Look at me,” Charity’s voice was soft as she ran her fingers along her beautiful girlfriend’s face.

“I’m sorry. I must look a right mess.”

“Not gonna lie babe. Snot is not a turn on,” Charity said, smiling as her girlfriend laughed.

“Instead of being happy that you called yourself my girlfriend in public, I proper lose it,” Vanessa shook her head. The little spark of joy that jumped into her chest and nestled in there nice and tight when Charity said the word almost made up for the absolute shitstorm that was about to descend on her.

“Well that’s what I am, right?” Charity asked with her usual dose of doubt.

Vanessa nodded, wrapping her arms around her as a comfort for them both. She smiled into Charity as the other woman pulled her closer. 

“What can we do? Should we look around in here?” Charity said, kissing Vanessa on the lips gently.

“What?” Vanessa was still caught up in her worries.

“For the ketamine? I guess here would be a good place to start. You know, given our little session on the couch,” Charity winked.

Vanessa couldn’t help kissing Charity with passion.

“Not complaining babe, but what was that for?” Charity felt her skin warm under Vanessa’s gaze. She really was a very good kisser.

“You want to help,” Vanessa pointed out. “Even after what I said.”

“Babe stop. I told you, no harm.”

“But I know it hurt you. You can try and wave it off, but I know it did.”

“Vanessa,” Charity whined. 

“Alright. I’ll drop it.”

“Now, should we re-enact our little snog on the couch for inspiration?”

“You are incorrigible,” Vanessa said as she removed her coat.

“Alright. No snogging. I’ll look on and under the couch. You retrace your steps from the bar to the seat where you opened your bag.”

Vanessa couldn’t help but kiss Charity again.

“Babe, no snogging, remember?” Charity swiped her girlfriend on the behind to hurry her on. “After this, we’ll get Marlon to fix us up some dinner.’

Vanessa smiled, and began to retrace her steps. She found it highly unlikely that the vile would just be hanging around, waiting for her. She had a pretty good idea on who had taken it. The timing of it all was just too coincidental. 

Vanessa began to panic again. The fear of the repercussions felt like acid running through her digestive system. Worlds worse case of reflux. She knew what would happen next. Rhona tells Paddy. Paddy acts all righteous. The cops get a call. Vanessa loses her job. Not exactly the fun week she had planned. And what of Charity? She’d hardly want to be around someone who plodded along, looking for employment elsewhere. She was a vet. It was what she loved doing and was bloody good at it too. Without it, well, she would feel a little less her. What could she offer Charity? What about her son? She wanted to project herself as strong and accomplished. Kirin was nowhere to be found, so Johnny was already one parent down in terms of role models. 

“Babe?” Charity had heard the sobbing as she looked for the ketamine. Her heart clenched at the sight of Vanessa, holding herself up against the wall, tears forming. “Oh Ness,” Charity put her hand on Vanessa’s back, trying to comfort her. She wasn’t sure it was helping, as Vanessa just intensified her crying.

“I’m hopeless,” Vanessa voiced her inner turmoil. As she did it, she moved away from Charity, not wanting her pathetic self to rub off on the other woman. “Best stay away from this hopeless case.”

Charity looked skyward, as if some kind of intervention would appear.

“Right. We are going to go back in, have a few drinks and forget about this for a while,” Charity suggested.

“Don’t you see Charity? I could lose my job. My entire life revolved around being a vet, it’s what I know. It’s something I’m proud of, other than Johnny. It’s going to be taken away from me, all because I chose a bunk up with you over that flamin’ heffer.”

Charity crossed her arms over her chest. The truth was coming out now, she assumed. Vanessa was blaming her.

“So do we end it now or do I get break-up sex first?” Charity’s voice had gone cold. She was in protective mode.

“You what?” Vanessa blinked away the tears and looked up at Charity. The other woman was closed off, her body language screamed ‘run’. 

“You blame me. That’s why you kinda insinuated I took it, right? To break it off with me in a fight. Make me believe it was my fault we didn’t work.”

“What? Charity, no,” Vanessa began to reach out, but Charity took a step back.

“It’s alright. Knew it wasn’t forever. Just didn’t think it’d be so soon after I gave in and let you call me your girlfriend.” Charity shook her head sadly.

“Charity.”

“It’s alright Vanessa. I’ll move on. I always do.”

“Charity,” Vanessa repeated. This time she moved towards Charity, relieved when Charity let her close. “Look at me, please.”

Charity shook her head. She wasn’t going to cry. Even though she felt the tears, she willed them not to fall. She wasn’t going to let Vanessa see this side of her.

“I don’t want to break up” Vanessa spoke softly, her hand resting on Charity’s forearm.

“Huh?” Charity had expected a lot of other things; Vanessa agreeing with her was in every scenario.

“You’re my girlfriend. I happen to like calling you that, and plan on calling you that for some time,” Vanessa hedged her bets with that, hoping it didn’t scare Charity off, thinking too far into the future.

“Yeah?” Charity took Vanessa’s hand, finally. They smiled at each other.

“Daft mare, come ere,” Vanessa knew this little hiccup was over with, and that sometimes, Charity was like a spooked animal. You just need to tread carefully, and things will work out.

“Let’s just forget this all happened, right?” Charity said with a sad smile.

“Alright. I will, but only after I tell you that I don’t want to split up. Oh, and I don’t blame you.” Vanessa said, twirling a few strands of Charity’s hair round her fingers. She loved Charity’s hair, it seemed to be an avenue to soothing her sometimes troubled girlfriend faster than anything else. Charity always seemed to move towards her when she played with her hair. She relished those little movements. It showed her that Charity was in this with her, and at times she worried she was the only one, that Charity would indeed get sick of her as she said she would not so long ago. 

“Things will work out, babe, I know it. It might be a bumpy ride, but we’ll get there.”

Vanessa’s eyebrow raised at the “we’ll” but said nothing. She nodded and pulled Charity back into the lounge room.

“Wanna have something to eat then take a bath?” Charity said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Vanessa laughed, and kissed Charity gently.

“Sounds perfect.” 

Charity left to order up two meals from Marlon, while Vanessa sat on the couch. Things were looking a little rough, but in this moment, Vanessa felt like she could push through it thanks to Charity’s help. She was starting to feel quite attached to the pub owner but knew better than to get too close. Not yet anyway. Charity needed time, and to be honest, she needed it as well. For now, she would go at Charity’s pace.

“Babe?” 

Vanessa looked up as Charity entered the room.

“Hey,” Vanessa smiled, playing with the fringe of the cushion she was holding.

“It’ll work out.” Charity said with such conviction, Vanessa almost believed it.

“If not?” 

“I can be your Sugar Mumma?” Charity said.

Vanessa let out a loud laugh, and Charity followed. It felt good to be able to get together and help ease the dramas in their lives. They both seemed to find that ability to make the other laugh when needed. 

“I don’t see myself as the kept woman type,” Vanessa said shaking her head as Charity popped down on the couch next to her.

“I’d like the perks,” Charity said, running her hand up and down Vanessa’s thigh.

“I’m sure you would,” Vanessa said, pulling Charity into a kiss.

“We should get practising,” Charity whispered, puling Vanessa onto her lap.

“I like the sound of that,” Vanessa said, rocking her hips into her beautiful girlfriend. 

Dinner was left downstairs, cold and forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you.


End file.
